Chastity

This morning chastity was on my mind.  I woke up and found my plastic device but I couldn't find the key.  I remembered the latest Chinese knockoff device that I received that I mis-ordered.  I found the device and put it on underneath my white and black polka-dot panties.  When I ordered this I was looking for an extremely small device, but accidentally ordered the bigger of the two.

I wanted the smaller device because the more I read and learn about chastity it seems that the larger the device, the more issues you have.  I also wanted the device to be punitive.  The device did come with punishment spikes, but those are more fantasy than reality.  This is my first time in the device, even though I got it back in January.  It measures 3 inches long and in my current state I fill every inch of it.  I will wear it the rest of the day to see how it fits when I am not aroused.  I estimate the smaller version would be about 1.5 inches in length.  I would love/hate to be locked into a 1.5 inch device.  I'm pretty sure this pic shows the device I meant to order. Wow!

I love being in chastity for Mistress but I am not a big fan of self locking.  Although right now this device is keeping me from edging while Mistress is at another meeting.  I could take it off though... 

Hopefully we get back here soon.

  

Here are a few more super small devices.  One of these say it's only 1 inch long.  

Latex and a penis pump

This morning I worked out and was feeling a bit naughty.  Our toy closet is right next to our home gym.  Since Mistress went to a meeting, I looked for something kinky to add to my workout.  I found a penis pump and also ran across a latex outfit I own.

I gave myself a nice few pumps to my cock and when I was nice and hard, I slid on the latex shorts.  Slid on is a bit of a misnomer.  Anyone that owns latex knows you have to wiggle into it.

Once I was in I started my workout.  When I was done I was a hot and sweaty mess in the shorts.  I loved the feeling of everything being slick and squishing around.  The shorts have a zipper in the front.  I imagined wearing the entire outfit, lubed up with my cock and balls hanging out and being tied to the bed while Mistress fucks me.  She doesn't let me out as she wants to see me sweat and squirm.

I got out of the shorts and gave my cock a few good pumps with the penis pump and got dressed.  I wore pink panties the rest of the day and got to work.  Nothing like being all horny when Mistress is out.

Another Day, Another Edge

Mistress got out of bed before me this morning which means I got to do some edging.  I edged to fantasies of outdoor bondage on our patio.  About being dressed feminine outside.  About breath play, chastity, using our fucking machine (giving and taking), and some sort of daily D/s.  After about 30 edges with no leakage, I went to my panty drawer and without looking grabbed the first pair I touched.  I pledged to wear whatever I grabbed.

This pair is small to begin with and a size too small as well.  My cock is crushed while wearing them so it's perfect for the mood I am in today.

As I was getting dressed, I realized just how much my submissive side takes over when it shows up.  After having no submissive thoughts for the last 3 months, my libido is in submissive overdrive.

After putting on my panties I went downstairs and got online.  I got caught up on my blog reading while waiting for Mistress to wake up.  Here are the images/posts that spoke to me today.  I Am in such a mood!

 

  

Strappado

This morning I had some edging time before Mistress got out of bed.  Mistress has instructed me to not leak, but I can't really help it.  I have started leaking before I realize it's happened.  It't not much, just barely enough to cover my finger tip to lick it off. 

Today's edging was inspired by some pictures I saw yesterday of women in a predicament bondage position called strappado.  At first I could only find women that were tied like this.

I love the how helpless and vulnerable they are.  While the position is extremely tough to endure for long, I love how easy it is to make the position even harder.  High heels.  Spreader bar.  A ball gag to drool from.  Neck tied to knees or the ground.  Only being allowed to stand on one leg.

Of course I could only find two pics of guys in strappado type bondage.

As I edged myself I found myself gravitating toward the pictures of women.  Their heels, skirts, and other feminine attire, I wanted to be them.  I found some good cross dressing strappado bdsm.

Most of the pictures I chose have the victims dressed.  I like the imagery.  That being said, naked strappado leaves victims at their most vulnerable.  Every hole is available and nipples and cock and balls are free to abuse.  They have to take whatever is dished out as moving causes too much discomfort.

I have to stop now before I lose control!

And another edging morning

Mistress stepped out this morning for a meeting.  I was able to edge a good 20 times with just a little git of leakage (that I licked up).  Today's edging motivation was predicament bondage.

Confession

It's been nearly 3 months since I posted.  Life has been very busy, but its also been very good.  I'm too busy to be posting regularly, but had to do a quick post.

The last couple of days my mind has been going back to my submissive place.  I've been fantasizing about chastity, collars, feminization, painted toe nails, panties, teasing & denial and forced cum eating from Mistress' pussy.

This morning I couldn't help myself and edged quite a bit.  I edged to some trailers from www.divinebitches.com  The hottest ones were the ones with the guys locked in chastity while being tortured.  Their cocks being totally ignored.

My edges got a bit too close a couple of times and I had tiny drops of cum that I licked up.  I felt so dirty.  I was tempted with sneaking a full orgasm, but thought better of it.  Since I am still nice and horny, I am desperate enough to confess my sins.  Had I allowed myself an orgasm, I wouldn't have the guts to admit my edging session.

Here are some of the pics that spoke to me.

Last night

Mistress and I had a very busy and stressful week.  Something happened this week that in the past, I would have been asked to be let out of chastity.  It seems a little silly to be wearing a chastity device when life gets super serious and you have to deal with it.  I didn't ask to be released.  I wanted to prove to myself that I am committed to being in a chastity device 24/7/365.  Staying locked up when things seemed to be too difficult to handle has made me a stronger submissive.  I was able to remove a potential excuse from future discussions.  If I could stay locked up this week, I can stay locked up through almost anything. I am proud of myself for toughing it out.

Last night Mistress unlocked me so that we could have sex.  It's the first time since Jan 18th that Mistress has used me for her pleasure.  It's the first time in a month that Mistress has allowed my her cock to enter her wonderful pussy.  I wasn't as sensitive as I would have guessed, but I was still far too sensitive to be able to give Mistress an orgasm with my her cock.  I had to use my fingers to give her a few nice squirting orgasms in between me edging myself inside of her.  During one of these edges I got a bit too close to the edge of cumming.  I pulled out and Mistress felt a bit of cum squirt on her.  I think it was around a teaspoon and she thinks it was more.  Nonetheless, Mistress had me clean what little bit of cum I had released with my tongue.  The fact that I woke up with painful blue balls this morning tells me that whatever cum leaked out was not enough to give me any satisfaction.  It was not enough to take even a hint of desperation out of me.

As we had sex we chatted.  Mistress told me to not even think about cumming.  Then later she told me she thought it was time to make me cum and lick it all up.  I begged and begged to not be made to cum.  As best as I can tell, Mistress is truly enjoying my lack of orgasms.  I think she likes that I am in such a state of submissiveness that I am begging to not cum vs begging for an orgasm. 

As we continued, I assured Mistress that I appreciate how she has gotten stricter with me.  I applauded her efforts of attempting to be meaner with me.  I told her how much I love being locked up in her presence.  How much I love the erotic humiliation of being dressed feminine in the house.  How badly I crave to be her little sissy bitch to be used however she wishes. In fact, I begged her to be as harsh with me as she can.  I want her to push me so hard, with the sole intent of making me lash out, so she has the perfect reason to punish me even more harshly.  I want to occasionally regret going down this path.  I want to have my fetishes used against me as a real mind fuck.  I want to truly suffer and question myself, but in a way that makes Mistress get off on my suffering. 

Regarding chastity, I know Mistress would rather have easy access to my cock, but we both know that 24/7 chastity is the only way I can fully resist temptation.  If she didn't re-lock me immediately after using me last night, I would be stroking my cock and edging myself as I write this.  I likely would have an accident that I wouldn't admit to.  I would have unintentionally cheated.  I know that chastity is a barrier, but I truly believe that it's a barrier that keeps our dynamic strong.

     
     

You Tell Him He Can’t Cum...

Found Online.

You Tell Him He Can’t Cum...

The first time you feel awful.  It hurts you as he begs and tells you how much he needs it.  As he curses and his hand shakes as you make him put his cock away.  As he wheedles and tries to undermine your command and you aren’t so sure anymore this is what he wants, but you shore up and are firm and you tell him how it will be.  

It turns out he loves you for it.  It drives him mad with desire.  Hearing stern rules almost makes him cum on the spot untouched.  Being denied fuels him in a way you can’t quite comprehend, and this first time, as you fight guilt and relief in equal measure, you don’t enjoy the power.

Oh but the next time… the next time you barely breathe in his direction and he’s hard?  You work him up with such little effort to the point where he tells you he needs to cum, asks you to cum, begs to cum… and this time you deny him with a smile.  This time the commands fly off your tongue.  This time, wonderfully evil ideas spin through your mind and sorting through to pluck only one or two. This time occupies far too much of your time.  You are soaked through.  

It is not just a no for now.  It is a no for the afternoon.  It is a no for the evening.  It is a no for the week.  It is a no for the month.  It is a no as you cum and he listens.  It is a no as you send him favorite porn of his.  It is a no as you let him choose what toy you will masturbate with.  It is a no as you give him commands and tasks to complete.  It is a no as you make him bathe you, massage you, and service you.  It is a no as you cum again and again.  A world of denial coming easily, and with each no, his desperation is evident, but he doesn’t fight it.  He’s so grateful.  Drowning in lust and hotness and your attention.  Denied but not forgotten.  Allowed to edge and edge so pleasure builds, but not release.  

He has no time limit.  No count down.  He has no idea when his torment is set to end.  That does not stop him from asking.  From needing.  From begging.  From cursing, but with a smile.  Enjoying the teasing nearly as much, if not more, than he’ll enjoy his release.  That’s okay… you’ll  get to enjoy release enough for both of you, over and over and over.  His pleasure will come from how you creatively deny him.  His pleasure will only come from watching you cum.