Self Control?

Yesterday I switched my chastity device out for one that has given me some skin irritation in the past.  I was hopeful that I was no longer allergic to the plastic used in the device as it is easily the best designed one I own.

Unfortunately I had a reaction.  I was going to put on another device but Mistress told me to give my cock a break, but no touching.  Bummer.

I realize how accustomed to being locked in chastity I have become.  That got me to thinking.  I have played with chastity for 17-18 years.  I loved the idea, but I hated it in practice, especially in my previous realtionship.  Mistress has made it so that I not only accept it, but that I yearn for it.  The same goes for cross dressing.  It's always been a fetish I had that I would indulge in 1-4 times a year and usually with great shame.  Clothes I had acquired would get thrown out after an orgasm and the insecurity that followed.  I would buy the cheapest clothes possible and looked terrible.  Mistress embraced my fetish, encouraged it, bought me nice things and made me invest in classy items.  I've worn a nighty nearly every night for years, including vacations.  We've made love with me dressed and I feel like her girlfriend when I am dressed.  Because of that I am much more comfortable in women's clothes and dare I say, I yearn for it.  So much that I now miss not wearing my heels, bra, inserts and other clothes.  I am also being conditioned to enjoy my ass being full.  I contemplated on whether my ass is to be plugged this morning as I was instructed to be plugged 'this week'.  I decided to not be a pushy bottom and express my confusion and look for further direction.  If I am to be plugged I can do it later today.

I was ready to spout off on all the other things I can imagine being conditioned to, but decided that is pushy bottom behavior and no longer allowed.

As I sit here writing,  I am wearing a yoga outfit that Mistress bought me a few years ago.  It's super comfortable and great for chilly mornings like today.  Normally I would just wear this, but with my level of horniness and my newfound affection for a bra and inserts, I am wearing a floral pattern bra with my extra large inserts.

Lastly, I am currently unlocked.  When I woke up I have every intention of locking myself up before heading downstairs.  As horny as I am I don't trust myself to not touch myself.  As I started to place the device on my cock I determined I should be able to obey Mistress without a device for at least a few hours.  I will try.  I so want to lean back in my office chair and stroke my cock and edge myself a few times with my mind running wild.  Or even just rubbing my cock through my yoga pants and panties like a girl.  Technically that's not touching myself, right? Not only have I not spilled a drop of cum in 2.5 weeks, I haven't even been close to the edge in that amount of time.  My cock is straining against my panties as I write this and consider my predicament.  Let's see how much self control I have until I am locked back up.