The last few days have been interesting. With me taking the focus off of my wants and needs and just focusing on the moment I have a new appreciation for slowing things down a bit. One of my downfalls is that when Mistress steps up the D/s, I get excited and try to step it up even further. This just creates stress and resentment for her. For me I see her pull back and try even harder. It doesn't work well.
Now that I have recognized it and have a plan to handle it, I am in a much better place and I think Mistress is too. Appreciating how Mistress is now treating me and taking time to fully embrace my current situation is a welcome lesson. Since my goal is to now live in the moment, and to let Mistress lead me down the path she wants me to follow I have some inner peace.
Today is a perfect example. I could certainly be writing about some of the dirtier thoughts I have been having. I could be posting pictures of more and more extreme D/s activities, but then the experience isn't shared. Instead of projecting ahead, I intend on writing about the current. Here is my current.
This morning I woke up too early. I tried to go back to sleep, but work stress and horniness kept me from doing so. Instead of tossing and turning a couple hours I decided to get up, do a little work and make this blog post. As I got up, I went to the bathroom. For new readers of this blog, I am required to sleep in a nighty every night. I don't take off my nighty until I have gone to the bathroom and weigh myself. I am also pierced which means I have to sit and pee in all places that don't have urinals. I am also currently locked in a chastity device that forces me to sit every time I need to pee. There is something deliciously naughty about me having to pee sitting down while wearing a nighty. After I weighed myself I put on my required squirt of perfume. The perfume quickly hit my brain and instead of waiting until tonight to do my 2 hour daily butt plug assignment I decided to do it immediately. I inserted the plug while bent over the bathtub looking down at my pink painted toenails. It's getting easier to put in. I felt like such a slut.
I proceeded into the extra bedroom where my feminine clothes are. I put on a pair of panties, my bra on as tight as possible. I put in my silicone inserts and selected a little black dress. I then put on my platform heels. I tried to think of something else I could add to my wardrobe that would be an extra reminder of my situation.
So here I sit. I'm in my office chair. My ass is plugged for 2 hours for the second time in the last 12 hours. My hole is a bit sore, but in a good way. I can flex my sphincter and feel a sensation. My cock is locked away. My current lock up is a week with no end in sight. I don't like wearing a device, it's a pain. However I do love having access to my cock taken away from me 100% and wearing a device is an acceptable trade off for the experience. My feet are a bit uncomfortable in my heels, but I like how the heels feel and how they make my legs look. Any discomfort is well worth it. I wish I could wear heels all the time. My attire. My little black dress makes me feel sexy and humiliated at the same time. My bra and inserts are also a huge turn on for me right now. As I type, my arms are rubbing against my extra large breasts. I have an appreciation for the challenges breasts create, especially large ones. So in my current state of mind, the challenges of a butt plug, chastity, heels, large breasts in a tight bra are exactly the kinds of things I love to endure. The more challenging the better.
In closing, slowing down and enjoying my current situation is very rewarding. I feel my attitude changing from wanting and needing to appreciating and wishing to please and serve my Mistress. I am here to do as she wishes and to just enjoy the experience. It's better for my submissive soul.
Now that I have recognized it and have a plan to handle it, I am in a much better place and I think Mistress is too. Appreciating how Mistress is now treating me and taking time to fully embrace my current situation is a welcome lesson. Since my goal is to now live in the moment, and to let Mistress lead me down the path she wants me to follow I have some inner peace.
Today is a perfect example. I could certainly be writing about some of the dirtier thoughts I have been having. I could be posting pictures of more and more extreme D/s activities, but then the experience isn't shared. Instead of projecting ahead, I intend on writing about the current. Here is my current.
This morning I woke up too early. I tried to go back to sleep, but work stress and horniness kept me from doing so. Instead of tossing and turning a couple hours I decided to get up, do a little work and make this blog post. As I got up, I went to the bathroom. For new readers of this blog, I am required to sleep in a nighty every night. I don't take off my nighty until I have gone to the bathroom and weigh myself. I am also pierced which means I have to sit and pee in all places that don't have urinals. I am also currently locked in a chastity device that forces me to sit every time I need to pee. There is something deliciously naughty about me having to pee sitting down while wearing a nighty. After I weighed myself I put on my required squirt of perfume. The perfume quickly hit my brain and instead of waiting until tonight to do my 2 hour daily butt plug assignment I decided to do it immediately. I inserted the plug while bent over the bathtub looking down at my pink painted toenails. It's getting easier to put in. I felt like such a slut.
I proceeded into the extra bedroom where my feminine clothes are. I put on a pair of panties, my bra on as tight as possible. I put in my silicone inserts and selected a little black dress. I then put on my platform heels. I tried to think of something else I could add to my wardrobe that would be an extra reminder of my situation.
So here I sit. I'm in my office chair. My ass is plugged for 2 hours for the second time in the last 12 hours. My hole is a bit sore, but in a good way. I can flex my sphincter and feel a sensation. My cock is locked away. My current lock up is a week with no end in sight. I don't like wearing a device, it's a pain. However I do love having access to my cock taken away from me 100% and wearing a device is an acceptable trade off for the experience. My feet are a bit uncomfortable in my heels, but I like how the heels feel and how they make my legs look. Any discomfort is well worth it. I wish I could wear heels all the time. My attire. My little black dress makes me feel sexy and humiliated at the same time. My bra and inserts are also a huge turn on for me right now. As I type, my arms are rubbing against my extra large breasts. I have an appreciation for the challenges breasts create, especially large ones. So in my current state of mind, the challenges of a butt plug, chastity, heels, large breasts in a tight bra are exactly the kinds of things I love to endure. The more challenging the better.
In closing, slowing down and enjoying my current situation is very rewarding. I feel my attitude changing from wanting and needing to appreciating and wishing to please and serve my Mistress. I am here to do as she wishes and to just enjoy the experience. It's better for my submissive soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment