A Fantasy Story

On Saturday morning Mistress and I woke up ready for sex. As soon as we got going, Mistress started verbalizing with a lot of things she knows gets me over the edge.  This story is a result of the last couple days thinking about what we talked about.

Mistress walked in the door after work.  I was expecting her as it was our "date night".  As she walked in she said "before we go out, I want to discuss something with you".  I asked her what it was she wanted to talk about.  She said, "get a bottle of wine, 2 glasses and meet me in the bedroom" and she walked out.

I went to the wine fridge and picked out a Sauvignon Blanc that she likes.  I opened the bottle, grabbed 2 glasses and headed upstairs.  Mistress was sitting on a bench we have at the foot of our bed.  She was still in her work clothes that consisted of a mid-length skirt, blouse, and sexy heels.  "Pour me a glass and get naked", she said.  I blushed and poured her a glass.  Then I blushed some more as I started to undress.  It was awkward getting undressed as I had just dressed for our date night.  Once I was naked, Mistress said "go put on your nighty that is hanging on the closet door knob."  Occasionally Mistress has me wear a nighty to bed.  I went to the closet and put it on.  I smoothed it over my body including my cock that was now sticking straight out.  "Hurry up!", she said.  "I'm hungry and looking forward to sushi."  I came out of our bathroom with a sheepish look on my face.  I have no idea what is going on.  I'm aroused but also a little ashamed.  "Come over here and kneel at my feet".  I do as instructed.  This is something different.  Mistress is not a big fan of making me kneel.  I couldn't tell you the last time that she had me kneel, but I think it goes back to when we first started dating.

"It looks like someone is excited to be in your situation" she said as she looked down at my cock poking up at a 45 degree angle through my nighty.  "Are you excited slut?" she asked.

"Yes Mistress, excited and scared."

"Don't be too scared, I'm not going to hurt you.  When we were having sex a couple weeks ago, didn't I tell you I wanted you to surprise me with a couple new nighties?"

"Yes Mistress"

"Have you done this?"

"No Mistress" I said as I cast my eyes downward, embarrassed.

"Didn't I also tell you I wanted to start seeing some more feminine items under your male clothes?"

"Yes Mistress"

"Then why are you wearing male underwear on our date night?"

"Because I wasn't..."

"Don't give me excuses" she said as she cut me off.

"What do you think your punishment should be?" she asked

"A spanking Mistress?" I suggested.

"No, you will like that too much, plus I want you to punish yourself.  I don't want to have to have tp put any effort into punishing you.  Do you remember what else we talked about a couple weeks ago?" she asked.

I had a puzzled look on my face when she said "we agreed that you would eat your cum if you were edging and/or masturbating and came.  Have you cum without my knowledge since then?"

"No Mistress", I said looking into her eyes.  "There is no way I could do that after an orgasm.  It's too gross and I don't have the willpower to do that on my own.  Before I cum is one thing, after I come is another".

"That's what I was afraid of." she said.  "I'm going to give you the willpower you need.  I want you to start stroking.  You are going to have an orgasm in your hand and you are going to eat it.  If you don't cum, or if you don't eat it, you will go into chastity until you do.  We will do this every day until you succeed"

I started to open my mouth to say something but before I could Mistress said, "start stroking".

I was already hard and started stroking my cock.  After about 10 strokes, Mistress said, "I almost forgot something."  She got up and when to her night stand.  She dug around for a second and pulled out a realistic looking dildo.  "Remember?  A couple weeks ago you said you wanted to suck a dildo too."  I thought about arguing about that being under different circumstances but thought better.  Mistress came back to the foot of the bed, put the dildo in front of my face and said "open up".

I went back to stroking and Mistress pushed the dildo a little deeper in my mouth.  She said, "don't let it fall out and don't use your teeth.  When you are ready to cum, I want to you to ask permission with that cock in your mouth".

I continued to stroke and what Mistress did next both excited me and shocked me.  She pulled out her phone and took pictures and videos of me in my nighty, on my knees, stroking my cock with a dildo in my mouth.  "These pictures and videos will be my little way of reminding you of what a little slut you are.  I will send them to you when you least expect it.  You will be out with friends and I will send one to you.  You will be ashamed inside, but will think of how I fulfill your needs."

"Also, we are going to keep doing this cum training until I know I can trust you to eat your cum without hesitation.  Whether it's in your hand, in my pussy or on the bed sheets, I want you to crave it,"

"Msssttrrsss, may hh i hh cum" I mumble around the dildo.

"Not yet, let me get my video going" she said.  "Yes, now you may cum, catch it in your hand, and don't you dare spill a drop."

I point my cock downward into my hand and let loose.  My hand quickly fills up and I look at Mistress pleadingly for her to stop this.  She takes the dildo from my mouth, takes the tip of it and swirls it around in the cum sitting in my hand.  She gets a large amount on the tip and says "open up, or you can put on your chastity device and we can do this again tomorrow."

For a brief second I consider the chastity device, but realize I can't stop this forever.  I open my lips and she puts the cock in my mouth.  Only then to I realize that she is still filming this.  I am  more than ashamed.  She dips it in the cum again and puts it to my lips and says "wow, it looks like someone is enjoying this.  Are you enjoying this slut?"

"No Mistress." I say with a frown on my face.

"Don't worry, you will soon enough.  Now lick your hand clean, put all of this stuff away, get dressed for our date and then you can have a glass of wine to wash that cum taste out of your mouth.  Oh, and since you didn't think enough to wear something sexy under your clothes earlier, put on a bra, panties and some suspender stockings under your male clothes.  I may want to take advantage of you when we get back"

"Hurry, I am hungry!"

Panty Thief

Mistress and I have a lot of clothes.  I have my male clothes, probably 1/3 doesn't get worn but once a year if ever.  I also have a lot of femme clothes that I have accumulated over the years.  Those clothes as well don't get worn very often either, darn it :-)

 At some point a year or three ago, Mistress put a bunch of her clothes in storage.  A large suitcase has bras, panties, night wear, naughty bedroom clothes, etc.  I run across these frequently when looking for something else in our basement.  Due to my recent orgasm free weeks, I ran across these clothes and started thinking.  She hasn't worn these in some time.  I guess she doesn't want them.  I wonder if anything will fit me.  I went through the items and came across 3 pairs of panites that might fit me, and would also hold my cock and balls.  I have many pairs of panties, but a fair number of them do nothing to hold me in.  Sometimes thats a good thing, because you can never forget you're wearing panties.  The bad thing is all you want is to get into something comfortable.

So I took the 3 panties and put them in my drawer.  The next day I wore a pair of nice smooth green boyshorts and that evening Mistress asked what I was wearing and asked to see them.  I showed them to her and she said she had never seen them before.  I assured her that she had seen them.  She swore she didn't.  Red faced I told her where I got them.  She seemed very surprised.  I had fully intended on her finding out, but not this way.  I was looking forward to seeing her face on laundry day to see her expression or during some teasing session where I tend to over confess.

Yesterday I wore another pair, and again Mistress asked to see them.  I showed them to her and she seems to be a little shocked, but I don't think it's a bad shock, more of a surprise.  Now I have never worn a pair of her panties and hadn't ever thought of wearing the ones in her drawers.  I have fantasized about making me wear a pair of her dirty ones as a punishment or for humiliation, but have never done it on my own.  Being that these panties hadn't been worn in so long made me feel OK in taking them.

Now she is playfully calling me a thief.  Just thinking about it makes me think of all of the stories I read when I was younger about what happened to guys that got stealing panties.  It's a common theme in the female dominant world.  It also reminded me back to when I was a teenager and stole panties from a few different girls and women.  Thank goodness I never got caught back then.

I'm so turned on writing about this I was on Target's website looking for something similar to Mistress' panties.

Tonight is a date night for us.  We are going to try and bring back a night from our first year of dating.  We would go out, come home after a couple drinks, go straight to the bedroom and have naughty time.  It's been ages since we have done it so I am particularly looking forward to tonight.  

The effect of smell

So I followed through with my plan yesterday.  I took a bath in perfume while I shaved.  The smell put me in a very naughty space.  I finished shaving and put lotion all over my body.  The lotion smell took away the perfume smell from my bath, so I was happy I saved a little of the perfume for afterward.  I got dressed in some very lacy panites and then put on a light pink lip balm as well as some black mascara.  I have only worn clear mascara out of the house so of course I thought everyone would notice.  I made sure any of the mascara that had clumped was removed which I think made it very passable.  As I was walking through the store I would get  a whiff of the perfume.  Every time I smelled it a small lightning bolt would go to my brain and my cock.  All through the night I would smell the perfume and get a little aroused. Even during the night I would turn over in bed, get a smell of my perfume, feel the nighty Mistress had me wear and I would melt a little bit inside.  I learned that smell is very powerful and I fantasize about Mistress incorporating smell into our day to day as well as our play time.

I woke up in my nighty and got out of bed.  Every morning that I wake up in a nighty there is a mix of shame and arousal.  I don't think I could have one without the other.  The arousal makes me ashamed and the shame arouses me.  Especially when Mistress sees me, and even more so when she says something to me.  It's hard not to slip into subspace a bit when you are a man traipsing through the house in a nighty.  It humiliates me (in a good way) and excites me.  I truly appreciate that Mistress seems to get something out of putting me in a nighty.

Lastly, I find it interesting that the longer I go without an orgasm the more I think about my feminine side, humiliation and chastity.  With more frequent orgasms I am more into the BDSM and pain part of me.  I'm sure there is a reason, but I'm betting it has to do with testosterone dropping and estrogen rising when denied.  It's kind of hot to think about that...  The brain is a funny thing, especially mine.

  

Post before I chicken out

According to the page I track my orgasms on, I just passed the 3 week mark for an orgasm.  That's my orgasms.  I certainly hope Mistress has been making herself cum while I go without.  I find that when I get past 2 weeks my thoughts, fantasies and actions get much more bold.

For example, this morning, I was watching a couple Divine Bitches samples and edging myself.  Before I even got hard I started to feel like some cum was starting to escape so I stopped touching myself.  Before long a large drop of cum oozed out of the tip of my penis and the hole in my piercing.  Normally I would grab a paper towel or kleenex and clean it up and keep edging, but in the mood I was in I said "what the hell".  I scooped up the cum between my finger and thumb and cleaned it off with my tongue.  I tried to edge again, but between the cum, my spit and more cum, I was too sticky and I couldn't get the right feeling.  So I milked what I could and kept feeding it to myself.  I would say I managed to get 3 drops the size of the cotton end on a Q-tip into my mouth.  It didn't taste bad, or my horniness made it seem to not taste bad. I had the stickiness in the back of my throat for about 30 minutes.  Reading that back I am ashamed to admit I did that.  I feel like such a slut.

Before I got carried away I stopped and went to go work out.  But before I did I changed into these workout shorts.

While working out I planned the rest of my day.  I have a few hours of work to do in which I will keep wearing my femme workout shorts.  After that I will go shave my body, however this time I am going to mix a vial of perfume from my bag of makeup in my bathwater.  After I get my body free of hair I will put on a naughty pair of lacy panties.  If I don't chicken out I will also put on some clear mascara (or black if I am brave), tinted lip balm and a couple drops of the perfume I bathed in.  I will get dressed in men's shorts and a shirt and will go to the grocery store for items for dinner.  

I am going to post this and get to work before I chicken out.  It certainly is somewhat of a mindfuck about being this horny and the things I want to do....

Perfect Description

I saw this online the other day.  Although it's written by a woman, change out a couple of the words and it perfectly describes how I feel most of the time.

Today I am having one of those days where my entire being is aching to be used and controlled and tortured. It’s one of those days where I want to be pushed hard and cruelly. Where I want someone to laugh at my moans, laugh at the idea that it might be too much for me. To tell me that it doesn’t fucking matter what I want, that I will keep going until they are done with me. That they are having such a good time playing with their toy that they could just keep at it all day. That my tears are just a bonus for them. That they want to see me suffer for them. 

Today I want dark and cruel. Bound tightly, spread wide open. The sounds of others getting to cum playing over and over in my ears, while they cruelly keep me far away from the edge. Where they take their time, spending hours touching every inch of my body before even going near my desperately aching pussy. My eyes forced to watch how my empty pussy spasms as they touch me, so desperate, so wet, and so achingly neglected. Watching as my hips struggle to move against the bonds. Watching how every once in awhile a finger hovers teasingly over my clit, always managing to just avoid touching it, and the laughter that follows as my pussy spasms wildly anticipating the touch, overpowering the sounds in my ears. The sounds of orgasms slowly becoming the sounds of conditioning. At first one phrase every few minutes “Good tease toys love to suffer” “Good tease toys love to ache”. Gradually taking on more and more of the recording until the recording has completely taken over my mind. “Good tease toys love being tortured”. Desperate begging and moans replaced with whimpers as my resistance is overcome. Complete submission to my teasing reality.

That’s when I feel the first gentle teasing touch of a feather against my clit.

Told what to wear

I am learning that there is something very hot about being told what to wear by Mistress.  Even something as simple like what I should wear when we go out.  From wearing panties to stockings or a bra under my male clothes.  From wearing a nighty at night to full on crossdressing with makeup.  From restraints or a butt plug to being told to put on my chastity device, being told what to wear pushes my submissive buttons very well.

Right now I find myself a victim of yesterday's horny post.  Mistress had me wear a nighty to bed with the instructions that I can't take it off until she tells me to.  She did allow me to put additional clothes on so I wouldn't get cold, but that's not an issue.  I put on a pair of panites to that my cock wouldn't stick out.  I'm not cold, I'm trying to maintain some modesty.  Just writing about it is making my cock so hard.  

Mistress is currently in bed asleep.  So me being in my outfit is only mildly humiliating.  I know when I hear her get up I will have butterflies in my stomach.  When she comes down the stairs I will get anxious.  When she sees me in my nighty and panties I will die of humiliation just a little bit.  As I make our breakfast dressed this way I will second guess myself about this side of me.  

At the same time I want Mistress to verbally taunt me, to touch me and make me aware of my situation.  I want her to make me pose in my outfit or to even take pictures of me to tease me about.  Essentially take my humiliation and anxiety and twist a knife in it.  As humiliated as I would be, my submissive core will be fed.  I don't know how to explain it, but just thinking about humiliation makes me hard.  

I am a lucky slave!

   

one more jealous post

The other day I lamented about how good some guys look as girls  These pics made me want to dress up very much.  I really like that you think it's a girl until you see his cock locked in his chastity device.

Inspired by the last 2 day's posts

Yesterday and the day before I had some pics posted from http://deviantdisplay.com  Seeing him all around his house dressed like a slut inspired me.  So yesterday I put on a dress, some panites that showed their polka dots through the dress, my breast forms, a wig and some high heels.  I then took some pics using our security cameras.  Last night I was a little drunk and very horny so I showed one to Mistress last night.  I wasn't sure I was going to confess my naughtiness, but now she knows so here it goes.

More from yesterday

Mistress forgot to have my put on my nighty last night.  I was happy to not wear it, but also secretly wanted to wear it.

This morning I fantasized about waking up in my nighty, getting out of bed and then going to the bathroom.  I would come out of the bathroom and would start taking off my nighty.  Mistress would stop me and then tell me I can't take off the nighty until she leaves the house for work.  She would then tell me to go make her lunch.  I would be mortified, but also extremely aroused.  The humiliation of prancing around the kitchen in a super short nighty would go a long way.   Then my mind had an even more evil thought.  Her telling me to be in the nighty (or some other outfit) when she got home from work. eek!

Mistress liked my post from yesterday.  She particularly liked that last few photos.  Here are more from that blog.  http://deviantdisplay.com/

Today's Mood

I am a guy's guy.  I like to workout and I like to have muscles and show them off.  I grow my facial hair even though I think it makes me look older.

Now take that above paragraph and contrast it with how turned on I get thinking about and wearing women's clothes.  Mistress has had me wearing nighties again and I have been wearing panites on my own but even that sometimes makes me insecure.

So although I am conflicted, I have found an amazing Mistress that accepts (and I believe enjoys) seeing me in feminine attire.  It makes my head spin when she gives me feminine orders.

While I like being a very masculine man and wouldn't change that, these guys gurlz make me a little jealous.