Monday morning came without me being locked. I was torn. Physically I was very happy to be free. I was able to wear anything I wanted and had a freedom I hadn't experienced in over a month. Mentally I was confused. While happy to be free, I was missing something. I was missing the ache, the desire and the submissiveness I had been feeling. Insecurity slipped in. Was Mistress happy with me. Was chastity too much of a pain for her? My insecurity built and I decided to edge myself to try and get back the horny needy submissiveness I had been feeling for so long. I was able to edge about 8 times in less than 5 minutes before I decided to work out. I put on some slutty red satiny boxers I had and worked out. I kept debating with myself back and forth of whether it was good for me to be unlocked or not. I then felt guilty about edging and decided to keep myself busy the rest of the day. I ran errands and did some chores around the house. We had some people coming to work on the house so I moved my device from the dining room table to my nightstand. At bedtime I wondered if I should wear a nighty as I still had insecurities about being a grown man with my particular kinks. I decided to wear it so that Mistress would know I was committed to our recalibration.
Tuesday came and went without me being locked. At work I wore pants I could never have worn with my current device. I also wore some cute Victoria's Secret panties. All day my mind ran with insecurities about kink, chastity, etc. I know it's not rational, but it still happens. Last night I wore a nighty again but for the most part I was felling pretty asexual all day.
Today I got an email from Mistress with instructions. As I write this, my prostate massager is in my ass until 9:30 this morning. I didn't want to have to wear it to work, which means I do have to wear it while I work out this morning. That should give me some interesting sensations, especially doing lunges :-) Additionally I had to remove and repaint my toenails and fingernails. My toes are a shiny deep purple and my nails are a clear coat with a tint that matches my regular nail color pretty well. Besides a tiny bit of shine it's not really visible, but I can certainly feel them so it is a bit of a mind fuck thinking others will notice. Lastly I will have to wear something feminine under my clothes today. I am undecided what it will be, but am leaning toward one of these since I am unlocked. I plan on wearing them tonight for happy hour.