Mistress didn't want to lose the key to my device, so it's sitting in the kitchen drawer. It's not hidden as we recently had an issue with the key and don't want to lose it. Eventually I would like to keep it in a lock box, but the one we have is currently being used for guests. That being said it's a mind fuck to know where the key is and to have to have the self discipline to not use it. A real mind fuck.
There is a little devil in my ear telling me to let myself out until this afternoon and relock just before Mistress comes home. He tells me that even though I can let myself out that I still can't touch myself, or can I? That same devil is telling me how I can wear whatever I want under my clothes since I will have the freedom to wear something tight and feminine.
Then another little devil whispers in my other ear about being faithful to this experience. It tells me to read all I have written over the last couple weeks. How much I have enjoyed learning to submit. It's not about the device as much as it is about the concept of the device, to be locked no matter what. To give complete control over to my Mistress and how important to me that is. To truly be her slave.
With both devils in my ear I have to admit I am a little insecure this morning. Does Mistress like me locked? Does it still give her a rush to see my locked cock sticking out from my nighty? Does it make her wet to think about me not being able to touch myself? Is the control important to her or is she just placating me? I hate feeling insecure about my submissiveness. It's one of those things that makes my macho side rear its ugly head.
Switching gears, I had another gay sex dream last night. There was a younger guy and from what I remember we were in a bar. I called him a cutie (which is weird because there was nothing cute about him). The next part of the dream is I remember being in a room and me having him on his back, legs together and I was fucking him in the ass, but as I did it I went soft. I pulled out of him and my cock was only half hard. I remember leaving the room but didn't dressed as I wanted to clean off first and couldn't. He wanted me to stay and I didn't. I then woke up wishing I hadn't had a dream like that. I've had two dreams like this in the last year which are the only ones I can ever remember having. I think Mistress' wish to see me with a man is allowing my brain to at least try it out. I can only imagine if she was pushing the idea with videos, images and other conditioning. The mind is an amazing thing.