Randomness

This post is going to be a bit of a rambling one.  You see, I am in such a horny state right now that my mind keeps jumping from one naughty thought to another and I can;t do much to stop it.

It's been several months since we had engaged in anything very kinky.  However last week Mistress tied me up, beat me and teased and denied me and left me in an incredibly horny state.  Now I am locked in chastity, wearing perfume, wearing nighties every night, and back to serving Mistress her morning coffee.

All of that makes me even hornier.  My mind can't stop about thinking about going further.  Staying in chastity indefinitely (especially when we go on vacation).  Wearing nail polish, fingers and toes.  My ass plugged or fucked frequently.  Dressing feminine as much as possible.  Giving Mistress orgasms every day with my mouth and fingers while I am locked.  When I am given the very rare pleasure of an orgasm I must eat it, every drop, no exceptions.  Collared again.  Frequent punishments, even if I am doing well, just to reinforce our dynamic.  Mistress ignoring my needs to make sure hers are met.  Her being bossier.  Much bossier.  No longer allowing me to direct my own time. Her being mean just to test my obedience.  List of chores and consequences for not doing them or doing them poorly.  Mistress punishing be for driving in a way she doesn't like.  Bruises.  I love it when Mistress gives me bruises.  Taking naughty pictures of me that I have to post on this blog.  The list goes on and on.

Now for the obligatory pics of things that get me going today.

     

Today’s Mood

I got tied up last night!!!

Last night I got tied up!  It was a reward for a gift that I recently gave her.  The last time Mistress had restrained me was on January 29th, when she strapped me face down to the bed to give me a quick caning before a business trip.  208 days (nearly 7 months) without being tied up and I sure did miss it.

Mistress had put our session on the calendar the day before.  I made sure to have my body fully shaved, a nice spray of the perfume she bought for me and I even wore panties, although I don't know if she noticed.

Mistress had me put on my restraints while she pulled implements of pain out of the night stand drawer.  Once I was secure to the bed and blind folded, she used some liquid coconut oil to stroke and tease my cock.  Mistress alternated between causing me pain and teasing me to the edge.  To cause pain she used rubber bands on my inner thighs (cheap and effective) and other instruments on my inner thighs and on my balls.

From last night's session

I went back and forth from extreme ecstasy and extreme pain.  The endorphins built up quickly and I was high off of them.  Mistress kept me on the edge very well and the frustration was maddening.  When I get high like that, I can't control myself from talking too much.  I begged Mistress to lock me in chastity afterward.  Not because I wanted to be locked up, but because I tend to cheat and masturbate after an orgasm or a ruined orgasm.  Mistress mentioned that my toenails would soon be painted 24/7.  That prompted me to ask for night-time feminization which she readily agreed to.  She also mentioned that I should be tanning in a g-sting before our upcoming vacation.

The back is much smaller and gives naughty tan lines

As Mistress kept torturing me, she made sure to mention that her coffee needs to be ready to go before we go to bed at night.  My desperate mind made me yell out "and the dishes too".

As we progressed I thanked her for being mean and implored her to increase her control over me.

Mistress said we had 2 minutes let to play and that instantly got me to the edge.  I'm pretty sure Mistress knew it but she stroked a few strokes longer than what I thought she would.  That did it.  I leaked an unknown amount (I was blindfolded) but I soon found cum covered fingers in my mouth feeding my cum to me.  I didn't even come close to an orgasm but Mistress was done with me.  She untied me and told me to get cleaned up and into chastity.  

At bed time I was torn on what to do.  I wanted to be told to put on my nighty, but I also wanted her to know how desperate I am to do anything she tells me to do so I put it on.  

I had a rough night of sleep.  I hadn't been overnight in chastity in 6 months.  My mind was racing with erotic thoughts.  I had a dream that Mistress hired a personal coach to help her push me even further.  I also dreamed that I was serving a ladies group in a cocktail outfit.  

This morning I woke up so very horny.  My inner thighs hurting.  Still in chastity.  I put on a bit too much perfume and went about my day.  My head is spinning due to the smell and the left over libido I have.  It's all I can do to keep from begging Mistress to torture me some more. 

   

Dressing up, edging and ball busting.

Yesterday after my post, I decided to do a bit of self feminization.  I put on a pair of black panties, black bra, my silicone inserts, a dress and a pair of heels.

It had been some time since I had worn heels so they hurt fairly soon.  Apparently I need to keep my feet conditioned for heels.  I worked for a few hours and then went to shave.  Before shaving I wanted to see if I could edge myself with the Hitachi with such a small chastity device on.  I could.  

I took turns running the Hitachi on the chastity device and on the prostate stimulator in my ass.  I think I could have milked myself if I had time.

I got ready and met up with Mistress.  I snuck off my device when she wasn't looking.  She's got a lot going on and I didn't want to bring any of this to her without her asking for it.

Mistress is occupied today as well, so I decided to do a bit of self-bondage.  I put on my humbler device on the front.  I also tied up my ankles, below my knees and above my knees.  I promised I was going to hit my balls 100 times with the thick plastic paddle or the thick strap.  My stroke #20 on my balls I could feel an orgasm starting.  I had to stop.  Holy cow.  I am so horny I could come from a ball busting.

You can see a bit of cum that leaked out.  I hungrily licked it up.  I hit my balls another 10 times and the same thing happened with a bit more leakage.  I decided to stop before I went over the edge.  

As I write this I have the shocking dog collar on my balls.  I edge myself and then give my balls a quick shock.  I stop doing this as I can feel the pain is going to push me over the edge.  My goodness  I am so horny.

Gotta Run!

Punitive Chastity, Prostate and Play

Mistress will be occupied during the day for the next few days.  This gives me some time to be a bit naughty.  This morning started with me trying out my new impossibly small chastity device. I just got back from a bike ride wearing it.

My goal is to wear it at least until bedtime tonight.  I'd love to be forced to wear it for a few days.

Next I put in my prostate massager.  I'm hoping this will rub my prostate into a frenzy and possibly get me leaking a bit without any stimulation to my cock.

And now I am deciding whether or not to dress a bit feminine today or to try some self bondage, or both.  It's been quite a while since I have done either. 

Control

Last night Mistress and I had sex before bed.  Mistress was pinching my nipples delightfully hard while asking me if I had been a good boy.  I asked her to define good boy.  She said that I knew and pretended that I didn't and asked her to define it again.

Eventually it came out that I have been edging quite a bit and that I have also leaked.  Sometimes I have licked it up and other times I haven't.  She didn't like my answer and I joked, 'if only there was some way for me to keep from touching myself without permission'.  She hinted that when we get back from a short trip next week I will be going back into chastity and that she will be exerting more control over me.

This reminds me of something currently going on in our household.  We recently got a puppy and have hired a trainer.  The trainer is drilling into our head that we need to be alpha to the dog.  If not, you lose control and your dog rules over you.  I feel the same way about a relationship.  Even in "balanced" vanilla relationships, someone is in control.  Maybe not 100% of the time, but certainly over certain aspects of their relationship.  When both people try to be the one in control of a certain aspect of their life, conflict arises.  While I am submissive, I am also a male which sometimes tries to take control of things even if they are not mine to take control of.  When I do this, it creates conflict.

Now in dog training you don't punish the dog.  However as a submissive male, punishment can have a powerful effect.  D/s can be used for reward and punishment depending on the what Her/our goals are.  In the end, I deserve some sort of punishment for many of my behaviors over the last few months.  New rules, tasks and expectations would also benefit us greatly.  I want Mistress to be my Alpha for everything unless she assigns me to be Alpha for something specific.  Now that we have this puppy the dog kennel is his.  We will need to come up with a new way for Mistress to be able to lock me away as punishment.  I have many terrible ideas.  I do not deserve to have control of even myself.  

Now onto my last couple of days.  I have manged to edge myself upwards of 30-40 times with no leakage.  I have been so worked up I have been dominating myself a bit.  I have worn my chastity device a few hours a day.  I have worn a cock ring as well.  I have been wearing panties.  I painted my fingernails and toenails with a shade of nail polish one shade darker than clear.  I can't really see it, but I can feel it.  When I am working out I wear feminine clothes and practice a bit of self bondage during my rests, all while fantasizing about being subjected to far worse treatment.  I've also been fantasizing about wearing something feminine on my bike rides but haven't had the guts, yet.  

We have lots of chain and other hardware to make someone completely helpless.

Even though we had sex last night I was not allowed to cum.  It's been just over 6 weeks since my last orgasm.  Maybe that's why I am in such a desperate mood.

Drunk, Denied and Desperate

Yesterday was an interesting day.   I woke up super horny and put on a pair of panties.  I got some work done and edged myself a few times.  After that I had to go visit a client.  I put a cock ring on before I left the house.  When I got home I worked out and still wore the cock ring.  I took a shower and Mistress and I went to a movie and drinks later.  Wearing a cock ring all day got me very worked up.

When we got home we watched some TV and Mistress fell asleep on the couch.  I headed to bed and when I was brushing my teeth I got the idea to wear my perfume to bed.  That did it.  The scent over powered me and my horniness shot through the roof.  That scent makes me so desperate.

As soon as the scent hit my nostrils, I knew I had to edge myself a couple times.  I used the Hitachi and was edged in less than 10 seconds.  Since I was in the toy drawer I used a few toys on myself.  Clover nipple clamps, inflatable dildo gag, spider gag, and clothespins, all while edging myself.  That and the scent made my head spin.

I then decided to try on some feminine attire while continuing to edge.  For each outfit I edged 2 times and changed outfits.

A little bit of leakage

 

I ran a real risk of Mistress waking up and coming into the bedroom.  Part of me wanted to get caught and to have to deal with the consequences.  Another part of my wanted to fall asleep dressed and to get caught and humiliated.

I also covered my cock with 16 clothespins.  It hurt, but it got me very worked up.  The ones around the head were the worst.

Lastly, I edged myself, want to put a few drops into a pair of cum stained panties in the toy drawer.  Unfortunately a bit too much leaked out and it was enough for me to stop playing and to go back to bed.  I should have licked it up, but I left it to dry in the panties.  The good news is that I didn't leak too much to take the edge off however so today will be another extremely horny day.

Denial, Edging & Inescapable Bondage

Recently I have been wondering just how few orgasms I have had this year.  So far it has been 5.  That number is a bit deceiving because I had a long period of chastity and denial at the end of last year.  To be more accurate I have only had 5 orgasms in the last 7 months and 12 days.  Last year at this same time I had 15 orgasms.  Talk about a serious drop. 

This morning Mistress got out of bed before me.  I was able to edge a few times before getting up myself.  I got myself so worked up that I leaked a bit and licked up what I could.  Some still leaked that I was unaware of and it ended up on the sheets.  It would be interesting if Mistress found out and punished me for it.

Since I was so worked up, I locked myself in chastity.  It kind of back fired as when Mistress went to the store I could have edged myself, but didn't want to go get the key.

While I was edging I was thinking about being tied in extreme ways.  Here are some images as to what I would love to try.

A lot of sneaky edging

The last few days I have been edging quite a bit.  Mistress has been running errands and when she leaves I edge a few times.  Yesterday, before I could even get to an edge I was leaking.  I have never been a leaker.  I managed to lick up most of it, but apparently I didn't get it all.

I was edging to poor guys getting ruined orgasm after ruined orgasm when they are tied up and not able to move a muscle. 

The woman in the video below has a very good torturous technique.  It's so firm yet so slow.  When she ruins his orgasm at the end, I know his exact response as I have felt that same way.  The swear words can't come out enough.



  

Another Edging Morning

Mistress and I have been extremely busy and Mistress has been sick for over 3 weeks now.  We haven't been able to be intimate and I haven't been able to keep my body shaved like I normally do.  Yesterday I shaved everything (eyebrows are the only hair on my body).  I instantly felt submissive and feminine.  I added my feminine deodorant and small spray of perfume.  I almost wore panties but decided against it.  

This morning Mistress was out of bed before me.  I edged myself 40-50 times.  The first edge I wasn't even hard and I leaked a bit.  Mistress walked in 90 seconds after I was done edging, I almost got caught.  I'm curious how that would have gone.  While I edged I imagined being tied down to where I couldn't move a muscle.  Mistress would then tease and keep me on the edge until I was literally in tears, begging to do anything to get the chance to either cum or to release me.  To be driven crazy with pleasure, but not enough pleasure is such a turn on.

Today I also logged my last orgasm which was 3.5 weeks ago.  I have only cum 5 times all year.  Last year at this time I have already cum 15 times.  Since Mistress and I haven't been intimate, I have told myself I would cheat and give myself a full orgasm, especially since my last one was mostly ruined.  I haven't done it.  I have been very chaste.

So a few more edges before Mistress gets home and some images of the way I imagine being restrained and tease tortured.