Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Avoiding a Rut

MBB gave me a task to see how other D/s couples avoid a rut.  I don't think a rut is exclusive to us or to D/s couples.  Here are some of the things I found to do in relationships in general to avoid ruts.

Keep separate interests.  MBB and I started out doing a lot of things seperately.  She ran, spent time with her niece and went to happy hours with friends.  I rode my bike, spent time with my pets and went to a couple of bars.  We also spent time together, but we made ourselves a priority before each other.  I think it's natural to want to make your partner a priority, but I think we have both allowed ourselves be on the back burner.  I think still planning time apart makes us each more interesting when we do spend time together.  I am of the opinion that this is the thing that would probably do the most good for us as a couple.

At the same time, we had really good dates.  We used to go to a movie weekly.  We spent a lot of time just talking (although that was probably just more about us learning about each other).  Planning a date that doesn't involve TV needs to be a priority.  We also need to do new things like "stupid bowling".  By that I mean things that don;t sound too fun until you are doing them. 

I was able to find one article on ruts and D/s relationships.  Here is a link.

All of this being said, I think it's good of us to be at a level where we may feel that we are in a rut or going into on.  It means we get along, we enjoy spending time with each other and we are comfortable doing nothing together at times.

As far as what we can do in the next 7 days, I don't think we need to force it.  I think we should both think about something D/s that we want to try and see if that would work.  


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