This morning, I was reading a post from a site I have read occasionally over the last 15 years. It's one that guided some of my thoughts on submission, especially feminization. She explains how she got into feminizing boys, and she had some parallels that are very close to mine. While I was reading I was trying to edge to the article. As I stroked my cock trying to get it hard, I started leaking. I was a mile from the edge, but the minor arousal had my prostate pumping out fluid. I stopped, cleaned up the small mess and tried again. By the time I got fully hard, I was leaking a larger amount, but I was still miles form an edge. I think the tank is full so to speak. To avoid any larger mess, I stopped attempting to edge and put it back in my pants. I have never been a big pre-cum'er but I certainly was today. Here is the full post http://akashaweb.com/updates/FFemwhyfree.html and some excerpts that spoke to me.
As a budding sadist, those first tender moments of honest, vulnerable male resistance were like crack cocaine. The innocent, pleading eyes. The fear of what it would turn him into. Just innocent teenagers, a boy could be easily persuaded to go along with something if it meant more kissing, or, simply, to make me happy. What boy didn’t want to be desired?
My later teenager years saw my sexuality shaped by erotically suggestive moments in two distinct groups: The totally new-romantic androgynous “pretty boy,” and the conservative bookworm and/or jock who only endured things like eyeliner or lipgloss behind closed doors. For me. And to endure these things made him feel shy, vulnerable, objectified. I was infatuated with one thing: Surrender.
Masculine men who are uncomfortable about appearing vulnerable make for very exciting feminization prey. I was totally intoxicated by the willingness of a man to explore androgyny (behind closed doors), and the inevitable embarrassment when the androgyny aroused him, despite his best efforts. It immediately put me in a position of power, because he was lost and not in control of his own sexual reactions. And, plus, I found androgyny to be incredibly sexy.
That’s when I learned that a pair of women’s panties was the ultimate tool for making a man squirm. Of course, at the same time, in my bondage exploits, I was learning that a pair of panties was also the most devious and effective impromptu gag, or could be used in a variety of tortures related to teasing and denial.