Slut Shaming

I ran into this post this morning, and I shuddered a little inside.  I can't stop watching it...

Princess always laughs at my humiliation

This speaks to me on many levels.  The blue shimmer dress, the stockings, the pink bra, the hair with a pink bow, the slutty panties, the bracelet and especially the nails painted to match the dress.  I'm certain there are a pair of slutty heels that we just can't see.  I know he is looking at the nails on his hand as he strokes.  With the nail polish they look like someone else's, but he knows it's his own.  The reason I shuddered is I have done a combination (not all at the same time) of these things in the past so I know how I would feel.  Getting all dressed and made up, it would take a long time.  Looking in the mirror and feeling so slutty and sexy knowing what was about to happen.  Getting myself in a relatively uncomfortable position.  Aiming my cock at my face just so I can cum on myself all because I am wired a certain way.

It wouldn't take long for me to cum and on so many levels I wouldn't want to cum.  As I get close to the edge, emotions wash over me.  Knowing the shame I will feel as the post orgasm let down hits me, but I would still want to cum anyway after taking so much time getting ready.  As I started to cum I would be tempted to open my mouth, half because I want to be sluttier, but half so I don't have to clean so much cum from my face.  After an amazing orgasm I know the shame would run all over me.  I would get up and the cum would be dripping all over.  As I go into the bathroom to clean up I would see my reflection and wonder why I am so fucked up in the head.  I'd wonder how I got this way and if I would ever be "normal".  I'd also know that no matter the thoughts and regrets I had, I would eventually put myself in a similar situation again.  A slave to my submissive soul as well as a slave to my Mistress.  As I remove the makeup I would be amazed at the amount of time spent getting ready and getting cleaned up, all for a few minutes of ecstasy.  Over the next few hours I would think about what I did, the shame running over me time and time again.  Over the next few days the shame would turn to arousal and I would fantasize about doing it all over again, but being even more slutty and depraved the next time.  It's a major mindfuck to get turned on by deep shame.

As I wrote that I kept thinking of Mistress tying me this way, and after making me cum she would say "I am going to leave you tied up until that cum dries.  I want you to think about what a slut you are".  Or worse, she would unite me and not let me clean up.  My post orgasm self fighting the need to clean up.  The humiliation would be the worst.  So fucking hot...

Pic above came from this blog http://selfcumeating.tumblr.com/archive