Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Orgasms and Tightening the screws

Toward the end of last week Mistress used me well.  2 days in a row she had me pleasuring her with my cock as long as I could stand it and then my fingers.  Mistress told me to cum both days, but I begged her to not make me cum.  She asked me how long I wanted to wait.  I told her 90-180 days. She threatened to tie me down and make me cum sometime soon.  She doesn't understand why I don't want to cum.

It's taken me a few days but I think I figured out a way to explain it.  Mistress can orgasm easily and she can orgasm multiple times.  She can orgasm multiple times several times a day.  She loves orgasms.  I too can orgasm easily.  I can only orgasm once (so far) at a time.  In many cases my libido is gone for hours to days.  Now getting super close to orgasm is the closest I can get to being multi-orgasmic.  I can get 90-95% of the feeling of an orgasm without actually having to cross the line.  I would much rather edge 20-30 times and not have an orgasm than have just one orgasm.  I get all of the benefits of an orgasm without any of the negatives.

I am starting to think of an orgasm as a punishment rather than a reward.  I am riding a wave of sexual energy that keeps me super aroused.  It keeps me focused on being subservient to my Mistress.  It makes me want to serve.  It makes me want to get naughtier and nastier.  It makes me much easier to manipulate.  If I were to cum, these things would be much harder.

In fact I imagine Mistress telling me I need to be punished.  She would tie me to the bed and make me cum without even one edge.  Then she would untie me, lock me in chastity, make me dress in women's clothes, beat my ass and then lock me in the cage.  All of that happening after a forced orgasm would be brutal for me to deal with.  I would have no libido to mentally get me through it.

Even just having a regular orgasm in the course of making love, takes me down too far.  I hate the rest I have to go through, but Mistress makes the rest happen faster.  By making me dress and serve, I can get my libido back rather fast.  I just prefer to not have to start over.

Switching topics.  Tightening the screws.  We have been making great strides in advancing our Female Led relationship.  Spending time in the cage was huge for me mentally.  On Friday Mistress added a bra, stockings and heels to my attire around the house.  I felt like an office secretary.  Mistress has also been pushing me when I slack off a bit.  Last night I was wrapping up work (still in my male clothes) and she told me dinner would be ready after I changed.  I love that she is keeping up with my tasks.  It would be easy to let things slide, but she hasn't, which I appreciate greatly.  This is becoming more and more real.

As we progress I look forward to Mistress tightening the screws on me.  I love the idea of her making me feel more and more controlled.  At bedtime every night I would get to make her orgasm multiple times while my cock is ignored.  If she doesn't like my outfit for the day, she would make me change.  She would pick my daily outfit for me.  She would add to my discomfort and humiliation whenever possible.  Making me wear a bra more often (with inserts).  Plugging my ass. Making me wear heels more often, Putting me in the cage for no reason.  Making me go outside dressed up.  Pretty much anything just to fuck with me and challenge me.  I am in such a zone that I want to endure just for the sake of enduring.  Seeing Mistress get off on making me suffer makes me so horny.

Wearing heels and a corset in the cage is a brutal idea


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