I have spent a majority of my adult life trying to get women
to dominate me sexually. I have had mild
temporary successes, but after some time things go awry. If I wasn’t getting dominated, I would
retreat, and when I retreated, my partners would try to use D/s as a tool to
get me back into the relationship. It
would work, but because the dynamic was manipulated, it was temporary. Eventually it became a downward spiral to
where nothing worked. On the way down
there would be attempts to bring D/s back into the relationship, but it was
always temporary and eventually failed
My current partner won’t put up with my withdrawal. If I withdraw, she calls me out on it. She doesn’t allow me to manipulate D/s out of
her. She then puts verbal pressure on me
to be a partner in the relationship and tells me the only way I will get what
she wants is to give her what she wants.
I am stubborn by nature, however my need for kink always draws me back
in. By her not allowing me to withdraw
and let our relationship spiral out of control, she waits for me to come back
and express my needs. When I do she
tells me I can have whatever I want, I just need to do the few little things
that make her happy. She’s right. It’s easier to do what she wants and in turn
I get my needs met. I wish my brain
could connect those 2 when I am not feeling submissive and not let me screw
things up. I’m very fortunate to have
found someone that can push through my BS.
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